We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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