Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
