Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
