There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
