chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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