apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
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Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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