Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I stole a fireplace last night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
