I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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