How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
