So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
