guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
