So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
