I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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