She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
