Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
