never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
