Yo dont text me then not text me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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