the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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