Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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