I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
