dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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