dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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