Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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