just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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