I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've blown a few things in my day
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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