ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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