why didn't you poke me back
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize