Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
