im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
