Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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