she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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