I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize