I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
