508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
