he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
