my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
