you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
