its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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