I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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