I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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