That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Welp...herpes.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I booty called her while she was in labor.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
