I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
