She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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