Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
