ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
