I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
