He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
