When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
