There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize