I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
