I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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