i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
