better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
