I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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