It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
