there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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