awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
