I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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