Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You don't make any sense
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