Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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