its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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