I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
