it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize